Page 2 of 2
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 10 Jul 2018, 19:29
by Tonio
Q What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!
Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?
A: Had a byte!
Q: What does a baby computer call his father?
A: Data!
Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
A: It had a virus!
Q: What is a computer virus?
A: A terminal illness!
Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It left it's Windows open!
Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?
A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?
Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Because someone stepped on it's mouse!
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?
A: A screensaver!
Q: Where do all the cool mice live?
A: In their mousepads
https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/computer.php
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 11 Jul 2018, 04:55
by Ed_P
Re: Jokes for geeks
Posted: 12 Dec 2018, 09:22
by Robert Whitfield
bdheeman wrote: ↑28 Feb 2014, 06:45
Wife makes a call, "our window is not opening, dear".
Husband replies, "Try some hot water, it will open soon".
Wife is a bit brainsick, "Hot water; are you sure"?
Husband again, "Yes, I'm sure".
After a while, husband calls back, "How is it now"?
Wife replies, "Even the laptop is not opening, now".
Hilarious
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 20 Dec 2018, 05:24
by Rava
To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
A Roman walks into a bar and hold up 2 fingers, telling the barkeep "Five beers, please"
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 24 Oct 2023, 03:11
by Vic
Just replied to Rava and remembered this one.
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning? Because he was too far out man!
Saw this on a sign in front of a lawyer's office.
Vic
off topic
sorry
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 24 Oct 2023, 05:17
by Ed_P
Vic wrote: ↑24 Oct 2023, 03:11
off topic
Not in this thread.
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 16 Nov 2023, 05:40
by Vic
So I am having 3 many beers and thought some off-topic medical would be ok... Ed_P said so
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy
I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full-frontal lobotomy
What was I saying...
Vic
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 16 Nov 2023, 09:13
by Rava
Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll.
What is one of the biggest lie in the entire universe?
I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.
An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
My computer said my password is insecure.
Well maybe if it wasn’t forced to have such strict requirements it would be more confident.
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you’re also the murderer.
(I like that one especially - it's like being Sherlock and Moriarty in just one person)
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It’s a hardware problem.
Added in 47 minutes 16 seconds:
And one a bit on the raunchy side:
Added in 1 hour 49 minutes 54 seconds:
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 21 Nov 2023, 03:35
by Vic
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 21 Nov 2023, 10:46
by Rava
^
yeah, seems drive.göögle.cöm is quite unsuitable for hosting images.
I went by Pale Moon and used Page Info (Ctrl+I) and then went into the media tab to get the image URLs:
Associated Text: "cats-vampire-test.jpg"
Associated Text: "WHEN-YOU-LIE-ON-YOUR-RESUME-AND-STILL-GET-THE-JOB.png"
You are welcome.
Jokes for geeks
Posted: 22 Nov 2023, 12:26
by Vic
Thanks Rava.
Page Info (Ctrl+I) and then media tab to get the image URLs. Got it.
I will use a different service next time if there is one.
Vic
